so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
