My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize