i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize