I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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