You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
