I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
