you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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