Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
