In the future we'll all be gay
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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