Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
