yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
