i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
