God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
