well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This is my gift to your gina
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
