Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
