Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
