awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
