sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
