you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
