haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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