can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
