What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize