Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
