Got a toothbrush?
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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