PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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