jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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