Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
