i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Let's get the cat blown out
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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