If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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