This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
