We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
