remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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