Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize