Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
