At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
