I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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