Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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