So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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