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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
