i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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