I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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