dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
