This is not my ceiling
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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