She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
