just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
