I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
