all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
