Where is the hickey?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
