Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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