Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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