Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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