Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
