So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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