next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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