Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
