careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Houston, we have a blender
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
