...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
two words: eviction party
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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