if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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