the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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