Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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