You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
