My hand turned me down
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
my god I love twenty year old dicks
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
