hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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