Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize