He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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