she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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