What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize