thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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