i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize