Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
