i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
